January 21st, 2014
Pony

Last week’s display of digitized dream machines focused on the sleeker, sexier side of Forza Motorsport 5. This week brings an entirely different take on the next-gen racing game.

Welcome to the blooper reel.

Hold on to something, because this isn’t going to follow suit with the usual deluge of long-winded wordsmithing. We’re getting into the chaos hard and fast.

What happens when a ton and a half of American Muscle smashes into the rear bumper of the much slower Toyota G86 your writer happened to be driving? (Author’s Note: Check the rear view mirror.)

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhRdHieMQCY&w=482&h=271]

Have mercy. Didn’t stand a chance.

 

TTL Cute managed to slip under my rear tires after I caught a bit of air, rounding out an already ugly first night of racing for me.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlG7g4M69eQ&w=482&h=271]

Become one with the turtle.

 

You remember Tag, right? Running as fast as you can to outrun whoever is “it”? Ever imagined what it would be like if you tried to chase down the person who WAS “it”? What if everyone were in 600+ Horsepower vehicles?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8u_WTMWZwA&w=482&h=271]

Do NOT try this at home, at work, on the highway, at the mall, at the airport, at….

 

The blow-off valve for the turbo charger in TTL Cute’s Ford Escort MK1 RS1800 makes a very unique sound.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=circVhhfrqk&w=482&h=271]

Must be a dog toy in the back seat. Or maybe a clown.

 

TTL Topes displays what happens when a multiplayer troll tries repeatedly playing bumper cars.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSB4206W6nE&w=482&h=271]

Beat at his own game. Oof.

 

Got something better than these? If you’ve told your Xbox to “Record That”, post it here. We’re always interested in good (or painfully bad) footage.