October 10th, 2013
Pony

In case you haven’t heard*, Grand Theft Auto V was released to alarmingly positive sales numbers and equally rave reviews. We at Tied The Leader did not sit idly by while a Guinness World Record-breaking video game experience was released to the masses. We were there on the front lines, standing awkwardly with a group of equally frustrated individuals in a parking lot while “Launching Session.”

Of course, the real fun began once the multi-phase forced narrative tutorial was underway!

Thank you, thank you. I’m here all week. Tip your servers and bartenders.

Necessary criticism aside, GTA’s online mode has been lighting up our systems on a nightly basis. It appears Rockstar’s servers have smoothed out the kinks. From smash-and-grab convenient store stick-ups to military helicopter hijacking hijinks, our Gunslingers have been stacking paper like Georgia Pacific. Read on for some stories from the city streets of Los Santos.

Here, Sunburned Goose recants the beginning of his street racing career.

Cute, Break, Utopia and I start off racing cars on an airfield.  Two laps.  Muscle cars.  The usual banter as we start off with Break and Utopia bumping uglies all over the track.  It was close for the top three, and I was picking up the rear until Cute missed an objective and Break and Utopia spin each other out.  The game was competitive again.  We clear the hairpin turn and Break, Utopia, and I are three wide going into the finish when out of nowhere headlights fill the screen.  Cute comes flying head on into the frame from the right and takes out Break who was in first, Utopia spins into first from the impact, and I take second.  We were so focused on winning that no one saw Cute…

The room erupts into deep belly laughter from the absurdity and the near perfect timing of crashing into us just before we crossed the finish line.  Soooo good.  So good.

Even when a mission goes terribly wrong, Cozmo shows it can make for a great story.

Been having fun with some of the objective competitive missions.

We played one last night that was 3 teams trying to steal a truck on the Highway. It starts out as a race to get to the truck that is coming towards you. Stu is cruising along and I come up behind him in my crotch rocket and pop his back tire which spins him out. Cute gets to the truck first and when I come up behind him there are NPCs everywhere on motorcycles shooting at him. I kill a few of those and try to pass him to get a shot, then he rams me into a cliff and I go flying way up in the air. Apparently when he did this the truck got stuck on the guard rail. Chaos ensued for 5 minutes with a mix of players and NPCs shooting it out and no one being able to get the truck out. Break tries ramming it with another truck but eventually the mission truck blows up and everyone loses.

We played again but the game was cut short when Cute blew the truck up with a sticky bomb before anyone could steal it.

What good are all of these felonies if you’ve nothing to show for them? Welcome to our combination of “Pimp My Ride” and “MTV Cribs”.

Here’s a peek at Cute’s Garage. (Click to enlarge.)

Sold my monster truck as it was taking up a space in the Wall of Muscle (BMX Bike cameo, Each garage can hold 1-3 Cycles in addition to the cars).

Cute's Garage

The new addition, that I now drive when not Sheriffing the Fashion Police:

Cute's Garage 2

The aforementioned Fashion Police squad car:

Cute's Fashion Police

Here’s a peek into your writer’s humble bachelor pad:

Pony's Crib 1Pony's Crib 2Pony's Crib 3

Not what you’d consider impressive? Fine. Try Bjorni’s High-Rise on for size:

Bjorni's apartment 1Bjorni's apartment 2

That’s some serious swank.

Your turn, reader. Tell us a story. How was your first skydiving experience? Has your Crew developed its own style, uniform, or colors? In your opinion, is GTA:O living up to the hype?